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May you stay forever young.

Dear Adulting,

Why do you think you’re so good?

You think you’re so superior to immaturity and ignorance.

You always find a way to get my parents to side with you. It must be the pushy and “highly experienced” thing you have going on.

I bet you spend your precious days, sitting in your aerodynamic chair in your office with a view while staring at all of your accomplishments framed on the walls just stroking your ego.

Oooooh. You’re such an accomplished adult.

I bet you pay your student loans on time and invest a little bit of extra money each month in a stock your super-adulty dad told you would be an incredibly smart financial choice.

You probably pay into a pension fund and cut down on refined sugars to save your less youthful body from all those nasty diseases other adults tell you you’re at risk for.

Hell, at this point you’ve probably even declared yourself Gluten Free.

As an adult, I don’t care to adult.

I like my every day aimlessness and even more, I love spending my money on things I don’t need.

Investments? You bet. You can find me at the VLT’s plugging my earnings into my hella poor chances at hitting the jackpot.

You know what, adulting? I’ve got some advice for you.

Ignorance is bliss.

Take a hike and take your perfect credit score with you.

-Anonymous

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