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NICE TO MEET YOU, PSYCHOPATH.

HEY YOU, INTRODUCE YOURSELF

I think I’m a psychopath.

How do I explain this in approximately 30 lines?

I over-analyze even the un-over-analyze-able.

While I’ll defend to the death that I, “totally am not a judgmental person”, I think I might be the most judgmental person I know.

I even judge the judges on talent search television programs.

I’ve spent years training myself to form a proper response when someone shares misfortune with me.

“My 98 year old great grandpa died and it’s been really hard on me. ”

Don’t judge. Don’t under-mind their feelings of loss and please lord, do not respond with,

“Well, at least they got to live a long, healthy life”.

Instead, I swallow my annoyance and force a consolable whisper,

“I can imagine. That sounds awful.”

I think I’m a psychopath.

While watching Gone Girl, I often found myself totally relating with the lead female character. Yes, even when I found out she was a crazy bitch plotting to ruin her husband’s life.

If that doesn’t make me a psychopath, I don’t know what does.

 

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood psychopath

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